The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have tasted many bathrooms
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
