I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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