He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Say something about gay babies.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize