my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize