party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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