Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
