yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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