If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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