She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
