Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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