smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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