What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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