The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Even my vagina gasped.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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