There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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