I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
