So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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