just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
