You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
