Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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