That's intense
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When are your genitals available?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
