**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
