I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
