so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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