who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
