the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
