Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
