you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
