how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
