where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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