so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
