After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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