I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
