My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
