At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
