so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize