We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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