I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
