Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
