i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
