Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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