At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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