Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
