My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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