I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
