the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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