oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
