True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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