I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
