R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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