i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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