If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
