I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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