You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
