what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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