i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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