On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
