Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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