professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
