We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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