My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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