I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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