The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
