Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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