David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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