bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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