he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
